Pears and Stars
by ElanorValentine
Summary: You felt different that summer. You don't know why, but it probably had something to do with the beautiful pear-thief-Rachel. Rucy/Eventual Faberry.


Pears And Stars

So…this is basically a Rucy fic, I think they're adorable. So, it's a one-shot, hope you like it. Oh…it's Lucy (Quinn) centric.

Oh…and Quinn was never pregnant.

I don't own Glee or the characters. If I did, Dianna Agron would be my wife. No biggie.

* * *

You were different that summer. You can't really explain it, but… you just were. Even at 14 years old, you were different from everybody else- not just appearance wise. Weirdo, you peers called you. Strange, your parents had whispered, hoping it was just a phase. No-one knew why you spent so much time looking out your window out to the pear tree in your backyard, but you did.

It was to catch her. The pear thief. You saw her once as you were day-dreaming, thinking she was an illusion. A trick of the mind brought by reading too much. She leant over the fence, and with expert balance, plucked a pear from the tree. But when she caught you staring, she winked at you, and you blushed profusely, a warm feeling developing in your stomach. She grinned, a wide, dazzling smile that you lost yourself in, and before you knew it she was gone. Her smile still lingered in your mind as you went to bed that night. As to why…you're not sure.

Then, on a blisteringly hot summers day, just when you about to give up hope of ever seeing her again, you see her. Reaching over your fence whilst humming a pleasant tune-she lives next door! You whisper excitedly-to gently pluck a pear from your tree. You try to fight your huge smile threatening to break out on your face as you rush out of your bedroom, run down the stairs-almost tripping- and hurry into the backyard. She stops, and turns slowly to you. You freeze, now panicking and cursing yourself. What do you say now?! What do you do?! Berate her? Ask her to hug you? Ask her to… She smiles slowly, her hand moving the pear she just collected into her other hand and extends the opposite to you.

"Hi," she says. "I'm Rachel."

Immediately you think she has the most prettiest anything in the world. She has long, brown hair like yours, but more wavy and the most beautiful brown eyes you've ever seen. Her nose was a little big, but you didn't mind that.

She's looking at you expectantly, with a smirk (and a blush?…) on her face, and you realise you've been staring. Flushing brightly, like a tomato, you look away and tell her your name is Lucy, and you hesitantly shake her hand, letting go quickly.

"Lucy" she draws out the vowel, and you decide that you like your name 10x better when she says it. "It's nice to meet you Lucy!" When you murmur the same, she smiles brightly, and it's almost as blinding as the sun itself.

"Sorry I took you pear…do you want it back?" she offers, handing you the item in question. You finally look back up to her, before smiling slightly and shaking your head, mumbling that she could keep it. Her smile gets impossibly wider as you dared to look into her eyes. An indescribable feeling hit you as you were lost in her eyes. That warmth spread across you again, this time across your whole body like a wildfire. But you didn't mind, in fact, you liked it.

Suddenly, a large bang was made against the fence, and you both jumped backwards, the spell broken. She laughs and bends down behind the fence. You use this time to pull your self together. You must look like a total idiot in front of her…in front of Rachel. She pops back up after what seemed like an eternity with a wiggling bundle of fluff in her arms. After stepping back closer to the fence, you realise it's a little puppy. You laugh, and she joins you. You decide her laugh is your second favourite thing in the world. And you caused it. Oh, there's the warm feeling again.

"This is Puck, he's only a puppy but he still likes to…uhm…show everyone who's boss." You both blush, realising what she is implying as Puck begins to…show his dominance with a toy he just found in Rachel's backyard. You tell her she has a cute dog. She smiles before ruffling Puck's ears, causing him to bark excitedly. But an even cuter smile, you think, She freezes, and looks at you, and you realised you've said that out loud. Oh God. Just as you're about to back track, she softly murmurs "No-one's said that to me before" which of course gets you panicky and you start to apologise again but she stops you, smiling softly as she picks Puck up again, but he tries to break free. Your mind briefly falls to the Queen song before reverting back to Rachel. She is still smiling softly when she says "Thank you Lucy." You are suddenly bashful, looking at your feet mumbling you're welcome and silently wishing you were James Bond. When you feel brave enough to look at her face again, you're pleasantly surprised to see her cheeks dusted with pink. You grin at your accomplishment.

There's a beat of silence before she asks "Do you want to come over, like…now? Or something. You don't have to, it's just I've never had anyone over before and Puck seems to like you, so-" You cut her cute rambling off with a grin, exclaiming that it would be your pleasure. There she goes with that soft smile-the Lucy Smile, you christen it- and the blush appears. Thank God for that pear tree, and Puck, who is now peeing up against the fence. Eww.

* * *

You spend you whole summer like that, just you and her, occasionally with Puck. Most days you'd play in her backyard with Puck, chasing him around when he's stolen Rachel's socks and your glasses, or in your back garden, simply enjoying each others company. Even on rainy days, you'd sit inside, cuddle up in blankets, your arms wrapped around her shoulders as you drink you Mom's special hot chocolate whilst watching Funny Girl for the 100th time. You don't mind, you secretly love it.

It was one of those perfect days where the sun was shining, the skies were blue and not a cloud in sight, and you couldn't stop looking at her, or complimenting her or even hugging her, but that day the usual warm feeling that accompanied those actions grew stronger, much stronger. And when you hold her hand and help her out of her chair later at dinner between your families ( who have grown close over the summer, much to your relief), she gives you a Lucy Smile, and the warmth immediately strengthens so that it happens every time you think about her, which is pretty much constantly.

It was your Friday night stargazing ritual. You were both are lying on the soft grass, looking up to the stars. You've already told her all the constellations before, as that's kind of your thing. (In fact, the Friday Night Stargazing was your idea too.) She's huddled close to you now, the nights are getting colder, you reason as you wrap an arm around her waist to draw her nearer. She happily complies and rests her head on your shoulder.

And you fit. Both of your bodies fit so effortlessly together, just like a jigsaw puzzle. You both let out a contented sigh, and you're not sure whose face is more red, yours or Rachel's.

You spend a few minutes in silence, just enjoying your company, when Rachel softly murmurs against your neck "…They're beautiful, aren't they?" Goosebumps erupted where she spoke, and the warmth now felt like lava coursing through your body, rendering you immobile. You realise she's spoken and you clear your throat, craning your head to look at her, thanking God again for the small height difference you both had. She looks so beautiful, her dark hair framing her face, her eyes trained to the sky in reverence and awe. Yes, you tell her, they are beautiful tonight. (And you blame every Nicholas Sparks novel for what came out next) But not as beautiful as you, you add sincerely. She slowly looks up to face you, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. Oh god, you've made her cry. You start to apologise, not meaning to make her cry before you feel the faintest of pressure on your lips.

And there it was.

Every cliché. Every bad, cheesy moment happened to you, including the fireworks, the heavens had opened. She pulls back, giving you the Lucy Smile, although this time it's different , somehow she smiles with her eyes, too. Something unspoken is displayed in her chestnut orbs, but you're not quite sure what it is. You smile back, and ignite the connection between you again. And again, Okay, kissing Rachel is definitely your new favourite thing in the world.

* * *

The holidays are almost drawing to a close now, the leaves falling off the trees, the ice-cream man never coming to your neighbourhood anymore.

And even the pears are turning rotten.

You haven't seen much of Rachel recently, she has been practising for her up and coming show choir recital with the rest of the choir ( namely Pillar Boy), she excitedly tells you for the 6th time that day. Funny, she's been talking a lot about that boy nowadays. Weird. You just smile amusedly and continue to hold her hand as you sit on her porch, marvelling at how well the two of you fit together. She stops her ramblings to look at you, and smiling affectionately, she leans forward and kisses you softly on the lips. As she pulls back, she whispers against your lips "You're still coming right? I mean, you don't have to go, I just-" you cut her off with another kiss, exclaiming that you wouldn't miss it for the world.

She smiles, though you notice that this smile doesn't reach her eyes You think that is it probably mind playing just making it up, so you let it go. Besides, you continue, it better be good if she kept rambling about it all afternoon. She laughs and you smile contentedly. You're about to kiss when a tall boy lumbers over. She immediately backs away from you, straightening her posture and looking anywhere but you as if nothing happened. You frown momentarily at the loss of contact, then realise why. You scowl, knowing exactly who this guy is.

"Hey Rach!" the boy softly breathed into the air, and you rolled your eyes and scoffed. Stupid Finn Hudson. Rachel heard you and chuckled softly, squeezing your hand before replying. " Hello Finn. Ready for the recital tomorrow? I've been waiting for this for months and all of our extra training sessions and warm ups will have been worth it when I'm standing up there, receiving the applause…" she continues as you smile amusedly at her, before turning to Pillar Post ( You affectionately dubbed Finn) and noticing his eyes glazed over, staring at her chest. Anger bubbles over you, you see red, and Finn Hudson's head on a pike. Rachel notices your anger, and squeezes your hand again, forcing you to remain calm. Yeah, like that'll happen.

He seems to snap out of it when she stops talking, expecting an answer. "Uh… yeah. Totally. You ready to go, Rach?" You frown, go where? "Oh Lucy, I forgot to tell you!" she exclaims, and you desperately try to avoid Pillar Posts smug face. "Me and Finn have extra rehearsals tonight, so I can't hang out with you today. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you, its just I was so preoccupied with the extra training and the…extra-curricular activities," She smirks and you blush. So, that's where she's been. With Husdon. You try to tame the green-eyed monster within you as much as you can.

Finn looks confused, what's different.

" Is that okay, I mean I can cancel it if you want, I just-" you again cut her off, saying it's fine, and it better be a great show. She laughs and pulls you in for a hug, that should've lasted a lot longer, she doesn't notice the smug smile Finn has on his face, or how he tries to hold her hand, and tell her jokes that make her laugh as they walk down the road together. She doesn't notice the jealousy written on your face. Thank God it's only a week left.

It's Rachel's show choir recital today, and you and your parents were invited to watch. You literally would not shut up about it. She's going to be up there, doing the thing she loves the most, doing the thing she does best, singing. To make everyone fall in love with her. Including you.

The curtains open, and there she is; her huge, beaming showcase smile dazzling the audience. There she is, your girlfriend-

Wait…is she even your girlfriend?! You start panicking. So you've kissed once or twice…a couple of times…a lot, does that make her your girlfriend? Then a sense of dread washes over you, rendering you immobile as you watch her dance and sing like she was born to do it. Which she was. What if she doesn't want to be your girlfriend?! What if she's not even gay?! What if she doesn't love you the way you love-

Rachel and her peers bow, the parents applaud and you realise it's over. Before you could go over to her, to hug her tightly and never let go, you see her get pulled aside by some unknown tall boy. You think it's Finn. Stupid Finn. He has a dopey smile on his face as he holds Rachel's hand. She blushes prettily, looking down at her feet and you are unable to see her face due to people everywhere. Every stupid cliché. It looked like he tilted her head up with his whole hand-seriously, is he that much of an idiot-and brushes some hair away from her face, a small, yet proud and sinister smile plastered on his face, and he suddenly leans down and-

Everything hurts.

Everything.

You feel like your heart is going to burst out of your chest and lunge after Rac-no, you can't say her name. How could she?! It's all your fault, you reason, you didn't make it official. You hardly hear your name being called and your anguished cry as you race out of the building towards your car. You don't want to see his smug little smirk, how that smile of hers has been forever burned into your memory. She looked...happy. Content. Maybe even more so than she was with...

You don't know how long your sitting there, broken until your parents come for you. They looked relieved to have found you, but they don't say a word as they put you in the car and drive home. It wasn't until when you got home, when your Mother turns to you and says "Lucy" that the damn bursts. You don't know how long you're crying for as your Mom gently rocks you, whilst your Dad hands you tissues. You continue to cry throughout the night, until you just simple can't anymore.

* * *

You can't do anything.

Everything reminds you of her. Music, shut off. Stars, don't look at them anymore. Even the pear tree has a cover places over the top, and all the branches are cut down, at your request. Everything hurts.

Rach-she's tried to call a lot. At least 10 times a day, leaving over 50 text messages. You delete them all. It still hurts to think. Sometimes her messages vary. From angry, to sad, to sobbing. But mostly she's desperate, saying that you didn't see what happened after, how she pushed him and slapped him round the face. Yeah, right.

She's left cookies at your doorstep everyday. You give them to Puck. You can't handle her 'I'm sorry" cookies right. You cant handle her. You can't even handle yourself.

* * *

School starts. You've changed again. Gone are the mousey brown locks, the acne, and the little puppy fat. Lucy is gone. In her place, stands Quinn. Blonde, athletic and an all round beautiful girl. You like her better than Lucy-but you still miss her. She goes to the same school as you, and you hear she's dating that Finn boy. How you hate him. How you hate-no, you could never hate her. She notices your change, but doesn't say anything. In fact, she finally got the message you're not going to talk. "Those 2 slushies she received ought to remind it not to talk to you!" your 'friend', Santana, says, laughing with her 'friend' Brittany. It makes you sick to your stomach. Seeing her like this, defeated, sad. You laugh along like the others, but rush to the bathroom to throw up afterwards.

God, how you hate yourself. What you've become.

* * *

The rest of the school year passes by, and your sick to death of hearing "Finchel this" or "Rachel did this" or " Arn't Finn and Rachel the cutest/amazingiest/golden couple ever?!" Well, that last one was from Mr Shue, the Spanish teacher. You don't know why he favours Finn. You don't think you ever want to know, with the risk of more nightmares. You just want to forget it all. You want to forget the way she just forgot you even existed, as she came home from Manatee's (Finn's) house and just skips happily to hers, without giving yours a second thought. One slushy.

You want to forget how she looks in his arms, safe and content, as if that's all she ever wanted in life.

You want to forget the confusion, and the anger of the betrayal. Why you, of all people? Was you an experi-no, don't torture yourself again.

Worst of all, you want to forget the way he holds her, that it should be you. How she smiles whenever he does something stupid (which is pretty much all the time) and how she gives him a smile-_your smile-_whenever he compliments her. That should be you. Oh great, he's ignoring her again. How he even puts pants on in the morning is beyond you. She catches you staring, and you lock eyes.

You've missed this.

You've ached for this.

Just you and her. Her eyes seem to convey a million emotions at once. She smiles at you-the same old Lucy Smile. She looks to come over but you can't. You shake your head, and disappointment and grief is written all over her face. Tears well up in your eyes as you quickly run away, away from her.

God, how you hate yourself.

* * *

You walk past Rachel in the choir room sometimes, and you have to physically restrain yourself from entering, so you just watch, unaware that she knows your there, because c'mon-she's Rachel.

The last time you watched her was when she was preparing a song-to sing to Finn. Apparently they got into another argument, according to a gleeful Santana, about each others virginity. You swallow down the familiar taste of grief and sadness and longing to listen to her. She still has the most beautiful voice...the most beautiful anything, in the whole entire world.

She stops, and you catch your breath, knowing that she knows your're there. Just as your're about to run away, to never love again, she turns around slowly, to face you. Unknowingly you have stepped a couple of feet into the room, as if you're drawn by her presence.

But oh man, does it hurt.

Seeing her, and not being able to hold her, to hug her, to kiss her, to lo-

She straightens out her dress and clears her throat. You realise you've been staring so you snap out of it, putting on your best HBIC glare. She doesn't seem phased by it as she sits down, expecting you to join her. She looks...tired, you notice, as you take a one more step towards her, but no more. She isn't looking at you, but you're looking at her, knowing you can never stop. Suddenly, she looks to you, and you catch your breath again, seeing the dark rings around her eyes from where she hasn't been sleeping and the blood-shot eyes, probably from where she's been crying. Anger courses through your body at the thought of the idiot tree-boy Hudson doing something like that to her, and before you can plot out your revenge, she spoke:

'I'm...sure you're wondering...a few things, Lucy. And I...I need to answer them. To help the both of us." She looks into your eyes, and your hear her breathing hitch because yeah, you're not the same anymore. Anger and confusion seeps through you at her words. Yeah, maybe a few, you bite out, and she flinches slightly, looking down at the floor. You put your hand on your hips as you continue to glare at her. No, actually just one, you say. "Why.| she whispers, it barely audible only to you. Your head tilts impatiently for the answer, refusing to show her any emotion. She gulps and takes a deep breath, as if preparing herself, and you snap. Don't have all day here,Berry! Snd she winces, and continues :

"I...returned his affections ( you scoff), because... i wanted to." Your world tumbles upside down and you momentarily freeze, your HBIC character mask slipping before placing it back on. What, so she didn't want you? you ask, almost afraid of the answer. She exhales shakily...and shakes her head.

Feeling faint and weary all of a sudden, you repeat yourself-why. She runs a hand through her hair. "I wanted...to test myself. To see...to see if people will like me. As you, and your cronies have already made the entire school population aware of, I am unattractive (you have to bite your tongue to stop yourself saying the opposite) and, well, Finn makes me feel...desired, wanted, even. And that's all i ever wanted, really." She stiltedly whispers, and before you can stop yourself, you ask what she thought about the two of you, whether that meant anything to her. She looks so tiny and fragile, like she's going to collapse, but you realise you probably look the same, and this time you can't help but gravitate towards her, to kneel in front of her, and gently cup her cheek with your hand.

How you've missed. no, how you've ached for this. So...this didn't mean anything to her, you whisper, feeling both of your breathing hitching. This time you realise why she's lying, and it breaks your heart. She was ashamed of you both, it all makes sense now. Why she didn't kiss you when Finn was over. Why she became distant when he was around, why she never held you like you wanted her to. How she never looked too deep in your eyes as if scared of finding something she didn't want to see.

This time she looks you in the eyes, and you both stare, searching for something, but you can't find it.t. She shakes her head slowly and your heart plummets, sinking lower and lower into the ground, pulling everything with it, your brain, emotions, everything. You don't feel anything anymore. You shoot up, and she notices the look of pure hurt and betrayal on your face, because she starts to cry. You just stand there, seeing but not seeing.

How could this happen? You pore your heart of for the first time, leaving you open...naked... vulnerable for someone, someone you loved, expecting love in return, but nothing. You got nothing, and you feel nothing. Well, if that's what love is..then you're never loving again. No-one.

You back away slowyl, turning away from Rachel as her sobs become louder with every step you take, begging you to come back to her. But you won't. You can't.

Not when she holds the key to your heart...and your entire being.

* * *

A few months later, and school is over. Notebooks are flying in bins. Lockers cleaned out, and students and teachers alike a cheering and racing out of school. But you're just glad you've made past the year of the Finchel without breaking down and crying- or punching Finn in the face. They've broken up- again-these past few weeks, Finn spreading rumours that Rachel 'won't put out despite that fact that they've 'already cleared 2nd base''. That thought makes you sick. You took care of that though. You arranged for Finn to have a slushy attack, four on one, no-one knew it was you, and Santana was all too happy to "finally bitch-slap the giant with an iceberg".

She has made no indication that she remembers, or even fully _cares_ aboutyour choirroom chat, and you're not sure whether to break down and cry, or be extremely relieved.

You're invited to numerous parties that night, but you don't care. You just want to crawl up in your blanket and read.

That never happens though. When you get home from Cheerios practise, you're already dead, but she's there. Laughing and joking with your Mom and Dad in your living room, as if she hasn't left. You feel sick. She must sense you're in the room, because she stops laughing, and turns slowly to face your, chestnut meeting hazel for what feels like the first time. She opens her mouth to say something but you don't give her a chance. You race up the stairs and slam your bedroom door shut. You hear footsteps on the stairs and of course she would follow you, she's Rachel.

"Luc-" she begins, opening the door, but you cut her off, exclaiming that you're Quinn now, she should know the difference you add bitterly. She sighs, and it's such a mournful sigh that you want to walk over there and hug her tightly. But instead you adopt your best HBIC glare as she leans on your door frame, silently studying you. You scoff and she hears you. "Look, I know why you won't talk to me-(you angrily whip round to her, because really, she should know)-but I don't understand why you won't just listen to me Luc-Quinn. Please." She adds at the end, desperation and ultimate sadness creeping into her voice, and you hate it. You hate what her voice does to you-what she does to you. The hurt in your chest magnifies as you stare into her eyes. You can't bear it. The Lucy Smile in her eyes is no longer there. You sigh deeply, allowing all of your emotions to pour through into that one sigh of defeat, and she continues, knowing it's your go-ahead sign. You hate that she knows you so well. You slump down on the bed, arms covering your face so she doesn't see the pain that has been permanently etched there by _Finchel_. She looks anguished.

"Look… Quinn I just-" she pauses, you imagine she's running her hand through her hair, and you despise how you know her so well.

"What you saw that day, that was the first time that had happened," she begins and you scoff, mumbling that you saw enough to be able to tell the difference. She winces, and continues: "I.. sincerely regret acting on these foolish and quite thoughtless feelings, and i..i suppose i was caught up in the drama of it all, I suppose" She shrugs, and you mutter bitterly that that doesn't make it okay to just...break her like that. She's walking round your room just like she used to, and your heart aches for those times, those times where you could just hold her tightly, where you could call her yours-

"I searched for you, y'know" She continues, and your heart lurches. "But everyone said you left and I-" her voice breaks, and you slowly sit up to see her staring at you, tears streaming down her face. "And when I couldn't find you, I knew you saw it, and I just…I broke. I realise now, what you said in the choir room, if that kiss meant something to me. At first I thought it did, but now... I tried calling everyone on the street to see how you were, but they all said you were doing fine ." You look away, tears threatening to fall from your face as you whisper you're fine. She smiles softly, the tears still falling from her eyes as she kneels in front of you, and softly grabs your cheek with her thumb and index finger, using her thumb to gently stroke your cheek. You involuntarily lean into her touch, and suddenly everything feels…normal. The pain in your chest subsides, just a fraction, and both of your breathing hitches. You still can't look her in the eyes, not yet. She takes a shaky breath, and starts again.

" Look, I don't quite know why you've…changed. But I know I've hurt you. I've hurt you so badly and I… you don't know how sorry I am. I am so sorry, Quinn," You flinch, knowing this is the first time she's called you Quinn properly. You instantly like your chosen name 10x better when she says it, and you hate yourself for it.

" I take the slushies, the name calling, the bullying ( by this time the tears look like they're leaking from your face) because it just makes me feel like… like I'm still connected to you. That some ways, you still know I exist, and I'm grateful for that." You now turn to face her, a million apologies written in your eyes and your face, sorry for what wasted time your both had, sorry for all the pain that you've caused. She seems to understand, because she shakily smiles, and it's the Lucy Smile. It's the Lucy Smile and suddenly everything hurts again.

You jump to you feet, knocking her on the floor, yelling that she can't just come here and say a few things and except you to forgive her. She said she had feelings for the Pillar Post, onlt to turn them back around and say that she doesn't, that she can't string you along like this. That she can't just expect things to go on like you left off. Knowing that you've broken this…you, beyond repair.. She's in tears again, and you freeze, knowing that you were the one who made her cry. You shakily exhale, and run a hand through your hair as she stands, and slowly walks over to you, this time stopping a few feet in front of you and you miss the close contact she gave you..

" I know what I did okay it was wrong and stupid,but i was scared! I was so, so scared Quinn, because what I felt for you I'd..I'd never felt before and I just..I didn't know how to react and so I tried to be 'normal' and like the norm, y'know, the popular jock ( your chest tightens as you step back, not believing what you were hearing), but I..I couldn't. Whenever I'd been with Finn, or talking to Finn, and...and kissing him, all iI could think about was..." she she shakes her head sadly, and takes a deep breath.

" I realise that I can't…take things where we left off, but…I really miss you Quinn. I miss you Lucy. (You breathing becomes slower, you missed the way your name sounds on her tongue. Wait.) And before…this happened, you were my best friend. My best and only friend Quinn. And I miss that. God how I miss that so much. I miss you." You both hear the double meanings behind those 3 words and you both flinch. You feel anger bubble out of nowhere, as you exclaim how you don't know that this is just a phase, that she'll be running back to Tree-man ( you spat his name) after this is over. Just as she always does. You instantly regret it as her eyes harden.

" God, why do you have these walls built around you all the time? They never used to be this fucking high!" Your eyes widen- you've never heard her swear before, or even yell, and you fight the urge to laugh.

"I used to be able to read you Quinn. I used to be able to just look at you, and know what you're thinking but now-" she shakes her head, tears glistening in her eyes. "Now I'm not so sure." her voice raw and full of emotion. Your eyes glistening, you reply that she doesn't know you anymore. That maybe it's time she stopped trying, your voice devoid of emotion. And your heart stops. She snaps her eyes back to yours and both of you silently stare at each other, each of you drinking each other in, as if this would be the last time you would see each other. Your chest tightens as a wave of grief sweeps over you. She wipes her eyes, and slowly walks past you, your arms brush and electricity sparks from the contact, you both shiver.

You stand immobile as she leaves your room without saying goodbye, and says goodbye to your parents-and she's gone.

She's gone, possibly forever. Your Mom walks up the stairs and into your room, she obviously heard your raised voices. She's about to ask you if you're okay, but you can't talk anymore. Instead you run into her arms and fall into an uncontrollable fit of sobs, sobs that wrack your body and she holds you, and you can't help wishing it wasn't your Mom, but Rachel, holding you close to her and whispering comforts in your ear.

* * *

Those next few days were an agony. Why did you not notice she was scared? Why couldn't you see that? Were you so blinded by your own affections that you didn't see anything wrong with hers?

You reject invitations to hang out, mostly from dumb jocks or wannabe cheerleaders trying to climb the social ladder. You've even had your Mom send Santana and Brittany away. You need to be alone.

You can't be with her...you can't be with anyone that reminds you of her. That Santana's skin is just a shade darker than hers, or how Brittany's bright smile echo's that of Rachel's when you complimented her singing-argh!

Why can't you just forget about her?! Are you destined to always lover her from afar?

_Maybe it doesn't have to be that way_, a voice in your head stated.

But how else could it be? She hurt you...she broke you. her being in your life just causes more pain. But her not being in your life causes even more pain.

_Maybe she can be in your life...but as friends. _The voice mused, and you jolt.

As a friend...she won't be able to hurt you, as much. And you won't be able to hurt her! It might be incredibly awkward at first-

**But is she worth it? **another voice responded, and you briefly wondered if you're going insane.

**Is she worth all of the pain, and the awkwardness? Will she be worth the inevitable- when she chooses Finn over you, again?**

****Both of you answer that time.

_Yes, she is worth it._

A life without Rachel Berry...is a a life not living.

**You will have to protect your heart, Quinn. She is your Kryptonite, after all.**

Look out Rachel Berry, you just got yourself your best friend back

But this time, she got the HBIC.

* * *

Those first few weeks of summer went past agonizingly slow, but you didn't mind that. In fact, you wish that they could go on forever, just so you would never have to see…her again. The pain in your chest returns again- the doctors say they can't do anything about that. What did Brittany say? 'You can die of a broken-heart'? Yeah, you definitely can understand that.

You miss her. That's understandable right? You miss the way her eyes light up when she sings, or how she recites every word to Funny Girl and from Love Actually. You miss the way your hands slide together like they…like they were made for each other. But most of all, you miss how she makes you feel, warm, happy-infatuated. No-one made you feel like that. No-one, apart from her. You miss her Lucy-smile, but that's just it, you're not Lucy anymore. You're Quinn. You're Quinn and you'll never be Lucy again.

You begin the day by sitting under the pear tree, as always. Your parents are getting worried about you, you notice, as you spend everyday sitting under that pear tree. But there is nowhere else you'd rather be. Other than in her arms.

You bolt upright, sudden inspiration hitting you. You walk towards the house and out of the front door. You don't tell your Mom where you're going-she wouldn't believe you. You walk out of the front door, and the glare of the sun is so bright that you have to shield your eyes, which makes you pause. Are you sure you want to do this?!

Are you that much of a macho cist?

You answer your own question as you walk to next doors porch, and ring the door bell. You know she won't be in today-she has dance classes. But you miss her fathers. You miss her. They open the door after a few moments, happy smiles plastered on their faces until they look at who knocked on the door, the happy smiles fall slowly off their faces and replaced by tears. You smile softly, and whisper that it's good to see them. Hiram and Leroy Berry echo your smile and invite you in, asking if you would like a drink. You smile wistfully as they argue whether or not to give you your favourite-milk. You've missed them. You exclaim that milk is fine, and the smile on both of their faces makes your heart not for the first time ache for what has been.

You all reside in the living room, all sitting in an…awkward silence. That it, until Leroy speaks "Luc-Quinn (so Rachel told them about your change. Somehow that makes your heart lurch) Rach told us that you're part of the Cheerios now…how the hell did that happen?" You all laugh, remembering that you used to hate sport and all exercise, preferring the exercise of the brain. You tell him that a lot of things changed last summer, and they both grimace. You freeze, unknowingly brought up 'The Incident'.

Hiram opens his mouth to speak, but you cut him off, saying softly that what is done is done, you can't hurt anymore over it…and that you're here to reconnect loose ends. You felt guilty that both of your parents haven't hung out that much because of you both, and how they missed each other. They smile at you, with tears in their eyes and you're struck by how much they look like Rachel, even if you know that's not physically possible. They both stand, and embrace you in a hug. Oh, how you've missed this. When they release you, you all chatter about everything and nothing as the hours reel by, you invite your mother and father over much to the Berry's request and suddenly-everything feels…normal again. The pain in your heart subsides just a tad, as you look around the room at the adults. All of them, happy with the reconnection.

But there is someone missing.

The clock on the wall chimes four, and everyone looks at it, knowing what time it is, and they look towards you. You mentally brace yourself, knowing that this is what you came here to do-tie up loose ends. You miss her.

Just as Leroy was about to get up, you do, saying you would like to go with him to pick up…Rachel. The smile on all of the adults faces, aside from the caution on your Father's, makes it worth it.

You both clamber in the car, and drive to Rachel's dance class, just as you did those many months ago. The drive over there is silent, aside from the radio, and your grateful for it. It gives you enough time to prepare yourself-again. Rachel Berry appears to be Quinn Fabray's Kryptonite, don't you know.

The car arrives as Leroy parks, and just as you were about to get out, he stops you, and hand curled around your wrist. Puzzled, you slowly turn back round to face him. He is smiling, but his eyes are serious.

"Quinn, I know you're trying to reconnect here, and I appreciate the effort…but I want to know why," Your head spins as your chest tightens. Why, you whisper, when you want nothing more. He stiffens, and continues: "Look, I know she broke you, and I'm so sorry about that, but…you broke her, too." This time you stiffen, tears falling like waterfalls down your face.

" She doesn't…she doesn't sing anymore"

And the dam burst.

You fling yourself on him, sobbing and whispering that you're so sorry over and over as he holds you, the tears also falling down his face. But you can never say it enough. You break apart as you hear the studio doors opening and the laughter echoing throughout the car park. One laugh caught you though, one laugh made you unhinge and your chest tighten with longing. You steel yourself as you look towards Leroy, who is still trying to compose himself. You tell him that yes, you both are broken ( His breath catches and you try your hardest not to cry again) but you're willing to try again. You're willing to risk everything to see her laugh again, and to hear her sing again. You'd risk your own heart, just to get her to smile at you. You're willing to try again. By this time the tears are falling from his face as he quickly embraces you and you stiffen, not used to wearing your heart on your sleeve after so long. He lets go, and whispers

"We never liked that Finn boy," You scoff, and reply that no-one has. He chuckles, and continues "Yes well, I much prefer it if instead of Rachel Hudson (Your breathing hitches), that she became…Rachel Berry-Fabray." You grin softly, quite liking the sound of that. A car door opening interrupts the moment, and not for the first time today, your breath is caught in your throat. There she is.

Rachel stares at you, and you suddenly realise just how broken she is, how broken the both of you are. Dark rings circle her eyes as she just stares as you, her eyes glistening with unshed tears that she's desperate not to spill. You realise that you're probably doing the same. And not without another word, she slams the door shut and walks off. You quickly look toward Leroy, who nods his consent, and lets his head fall on the wheel as you tear of your seatbelt and open the door and run after her.

You can't see her. Everything is dark. You desperately call out her name, once, twice, three times before you realise where to find her. Where it all started. You quickly run the familiar route, thanking Sue Sylvester for the ridiculous Cheerio's training for the speed you now suddenly posses.

And that's where you find her. Underneath the pear tree.

Slowly, you open your backyard door and walk towards the tree. She appears not to notice you as she looks up at the stars tossing a pear up in the air. You smile painfully at the familiar sight, remembering the times you used to come home from the bookstore and find her there, but back then, she had the Lucy Smile. This time, she has the Quinn Broken smile etched in her eyes. You slowly walk towards her, and sit opposite her, not saying a word. She stops throwing the pear suddenly as she acknowledges your existence. The pear is crushed in her hand and you wince involuntarily. Your eyes meet, and you realise just how broken she really is, how broken you both really are. Guilt courses though you too see a bright, bubbly person such as Rachel broken because of you and you open your mouth to apologise, only to get cut off by Rachel: "I suppose you're about to apologise, right Quinn?" You nod hesitantly, unsure where this is going. "Well, don't!" she snaps and you flinch.

"Do you have any idea, how much I've longed for this?" She gestures between the two of you and you nod your head sadly. She laughs bitterly. "Of course you do, you're Quinn freaking Fabray. You know _everything_." You wince again, but you let her continue, knowing that she needs this. Still meeting your eyes, she stands, and starts pacing in front of you: " You know, after I left your house that night, I couldn't stop crying. I cried for days and days and days, and I couldn't stop. I truly thought I had lost my best friend forever. And God knows how I needed one of them this year, after all that's happened. You...you didn't even let me apologise." Her voice broke at the end, and you break contact, hanging your head in shame and willing the tears to go away so that she doesn't notice. But she notices-she's your Kryptonite after all. She stops pacing and takes a deep breath, but doesn't sit down. You look up to see her standing there, looking up at the stars. This is it, you realise, this is now or never. This is where Quinn Fabray decides her future-to forgive and forget? Or live and regret?

But you already knew your answer.

You stand up slowly, and walk over towards her. She doesn't seem to notice, her eyes are clenched shut. You stop a few metres in front of her, ever respectful of her personal space. But you want to be nearer. Rachel, you whisper softly, Rachel look at me. When she doesn't respond, other than the tears silently falling down her face, you take another step towards her. What surprises you though, and what breaks your heart a little, is that she takes a step back, as if she's protecting herself from you. When in reality, it should be the other way around, in your mind.

You steel yourself for the disappointment and the goodbye, for that's what you're used to nowadays. Rachel, you continue, not letting the pain and anguish seep through into your voice. She hurt you ( you try and ignore her sharp intake of breath and the fresh tears, you really do) and you hurt her, you understand that now. You know that she was scared, but she could've told you, by leaving you out, that almost hurt you more. (By this time the tears look like they're leaking from both of your faces, but you can't stop now. You don't even notice that she took a step towards you.)

You are so sorry for all the pain you have caused her this year, so sorry that saying sorry for the rest of your lives won't even begin to express how sorry you are. And she was right, you continue. You did all that stuff just to feel connected to her, because the hurt was too strong and it blinded you with jealousy. (And stupid Finn you mutter under your breath. This time you notice her faint little smile, and you smile softly at her.) if she let you, you would be willing to forgive and forget, to go back to being just you and her against the world, with nothing to stop you. You take another step forward, and revel in how she doesn't move, her eyes not moving from yours. You hesitantly take her hand and you both smile. Suddenly, everything feels…almost normal again.

You know things may never be the same between the two of you as you hurt to much, and she need to find herself, you need to rediscover yourself ( both of your breathing hitches) but you're willing to try. You forgive her.

And suddenly there it is, the thing you have missed the most. Rachel is smiling the Lucy Smile, but this time nothing hurts. Well, almost everything. But you both agreed to take it slow. But God, how you've missed this. You spent that night laying underneath the pear tree, albeit a bit awkward at first, but then you thought of the ultimate ice-breaker-Finn Hudson. You were cracking up at how he put his pants on back to front one day and you both had tears of laughter streaming down your faces at how he thought cheese came from the ground. Whilst you were laughing, you pretend you didn't notice the tender, almost intimate look she was giving you. It made your stomach flutter and your heart ache for what could have been. For what _could_ be.

But you both agreed to take it slow.

* * *

Those next few weeks leading up to the start of the next school year drifted by quickly, and you spent every minute of them with Rachel and her family, sometimes even including Brittany and-by extension-a disgruntled Santana.

Never in a million years would you have dreamed that this would be happening- your 3 best friends laughing and playing by the pool Santana had installed in her backyard. Albeit it took a little while for the Latina to warm up to Rachel, she earned Santana's permanent respect after hitting a dude who was (rudely) hitting on Brittany and helping the terrible two-finally-getting together, even though their relationship is sometimes strained, Santana does care about Rachel. Brittany loves Rachel. "Though that's expected-she loves small things" says Santana, gleefully, earning a slap from you and a gentle reprimand from Brittany with Santana immediately chastened. You mumble 'whipped' under your breath and everyone laughs as Santana throws her hairbrush at you. You smile softly at your new-found friends antics as they curl up against each other on the chair, personal space forgotten. You remember when you and Rachel were like that.

The relations between you and Rachel were awkward at first- as expected, but as the weeks flew by you both gradually fell into that same rhythm you had perfected those many months ago, albeit a few perks left out. Your families now getting on better than ever, with the extension of the Lopez and Pierce families adding to the mix. You smile to yourself, suddenly they all became your own dysfunctional little family, and although strained at times, and extremely frustrating (read-Santana), you wouldn't have it any other way, as it led you back to Rachel.

Unconsciously your eyes seek another pair and they meet hesitantly- hazel meeting brown for what feels like the first, every time. Rachel stares as you, the Lucy Smile etched in her eyes, she must be thinking the same as you. You both smile softly at each other, until your heart clenches painfully. You can't deal with this again. You break contact, murmuring that you're going to get a drink and race inside the house, trying desperately to blank out the slight hurt on Rachel's face.

You run into Santana's kitchen with familiarity, having been here many times before. You take deep breaths to control yourself, to stop yourself from breaking. You can't. Not again. You reach for a glass in the cabinet when Santana storms in and knocks the glass out of your hand, her face fuming. Allowing yourself to be shocked a little, you feel your face quickly falling into the infamous HBIC trademark- indifferent and cold. You relish in that she falters just a second, before falling back to the furious expression. "What the _hell _have you done now, Fabray?" You step back, confused. What have you done? you say. She laughs humourlessly.

"Like you don't _fucking_ know, Ice Queen." She gets right in your face now, and you see the anger and protectiveness swirling in her brown eyes. You lift one eyebrow, and repeat yourself, although with more force and bite than necessary. She laughs again, and pushes you back into the counter, your back hitting it with such force that made you wince in pain. You quickly compose yourself, and push her back, angrily exclaiming your confusion. Why did she do that? She quickly gets back in your face again, both your faces inches apart.

"Don't do this Fabray! You know damn well what I mean!" When you're about to interject, she continues: " I'm fucking sick of seeing you mope around all the time, it disturbs Britts, and so disrupts our 'us' time. Now man up and decide what you're gonna do with Berry-are you in or out!?"

Your world freezes.

Santana's rant barely gets to you as you're rendered immobile. What does she mean- 'decide'? She scoffs. "Like you don't know! She's stringing you along on her quest for self-discovery, leaving you raw and vulnerable but you still do it because you're fucking whipped! You _love_ her, Quinn! And she loves you! When are you man up and decide-her, or your own fucking sanity! Oh right, I know. _Her_. Because you're _fucking coward_, Quinn-"

The slap resounds around the kitchen. Both of you rendered into shocked silence as Santana reached for her cheek. You're stunned, and angry. _So so _angry.

The Latina takes a step back. "Look Q…you know as much as anyone that I used to hate the dwarf, in fact, I hated her so much that I wanted set her on fire just so I wouldn't here her ranting on about that Streisand, and her 1800's style clothes made me want to scratch my eyes out with a two foot rake and…" she falters under your icy glare, daring her to continue.

"But…after what she did for me and B, and how our families-surprisingly-don't hate her guts…she 's okay. Sure, she's as annoying as fuck and we still need to work on that hideous fashion sense of hers, I mean seriously, who the fuck wears kitten jumpers?" You cross your arms and pout, still glaring at your friend. You happen to like how she dresses, although those sweaters need to be questioned…

"So…I've grown to…care for the little Munchkin, and for you, Fabray, even if i don't show it. And that means making sure nothing stupid happens to the both of you So, why don't you just move on ." Your glare falters, and your gaze falls to the ground as your ire dissolves with those words. Tears threaten to spill across your face as you whisper that it is impossible to move on from her. She shakes her head sadly, and walks towards you, although stopping a few feet in front of you. She holds on to both of your arms, and shakes you firmly, but gently, forcing you to look at her. Her gaze turns soft.

"Listen Q, I know what happened. I know that she and Finncompetent ruined, no, broke you, and I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry that _she_ had to be the greatest thing that happened in your miserable, Barbie-carbon copied life…but haven't you forgiven her for that?"

You open your mouth to speak, to say that she was forgiven a long time ago, but she cuts you off by putting a hand over your mouth. You realise that she needs to speak and you know she gets angry and pissed off like a 5-year old when she doesn't, so you roll your eyes and nod.

"I mean, I wasn't even here for the Faberry love-fest…Brittany…it's best if you don't ask. Anyway, but I know that you make her happy. And I know that she makes you happy, the happiest I've ever seen you, and I haven't known you for that long…but I know a depressed person when I see one" she ends sadly, probably reflecting on when times were bad between her and Brittany because Santana was scared. You wince sympathetically- those were bad times.

The tears are falling now, and you curse softly. You promised yourself you were done crying. You feel a soft hand gently wipe the tears away, and you immediately wish it was Rachel's.

Her eyes soften as she takes in your eyes. They aren't as bright as they used to be, and she knows it. "Look, Q, I ain't exactly the best person to talk to about relationships (you scoff and mumble that damn right she isn't) but I know that you're good for the little midget…and she's good for you too," you smile gratefully up at her. She smiles back at you and you murmur about the secret soft identity of Santana Bad-Ass Lopez, to which she scowls and lets go of your arms only to slap you across one. That hurt.

"Now man up- mousey shit don't get you the girl, Fabray! And tell Berry I said any of this and I will endz you, Head Cheerleader or not." And with that, she stormed back out of the kitchen. You heard Rachel's concerned voice drift in from the backdoor, and Santana gently leading her out of it. You know it was gently because Santana didn't insult her height-only her voice.

You lean against the kitchen counter and contemplate what Santana had told you. Santana had-almost-the same problems as you did-she was scared of getting hurt again. Not after the first time when Brittany left her for the science nerd-Artie. You think he's friends with Rachel.

Can things get better? You look out of the window into the backyard to see Santana being hoisted up by Rachel and Brittany to be thrown into the pool, the Latina screaming obscenities whilst the other two girls laughed. Funny, you mused, a few months ago this never would've happened, Santana and Brittany wouldn't be caught dead laughing, let alone talking to Rachel. With a pang in your chest you realise that that is all your fault. But as you stare at the trio, all happy with each other, even Santana was laughing with Rachel, you resolve that school won't be the same again for Rachel. Not, it _won't_ be the same for Rachel Berry. Ever again. The Unholy Trinity got her back, you won't let _anyone_ touch Rachel, you think angrily. _No-one_.

You stare at Rachel, and how happy she looks in that moment. She's wearing a modest blue bikini-not that you've noticed-that accentuates all of her curves perfectly-not that you've been staring or anything. But the one thing you love the most if that she chose to leave her sunglasses off, so when she stopped laughing hysterically with Brittany and wiped tears out of her eye, she stopped and looked at you through the window. She smiled, and winked at you, and you flushed furiously, with a slight hint of déjà vu- this was how you met.

And as she walked over to rub sun-screen on her legs whilst smirking at you, you realise that this must be a sign. A sign to start all over again. And you're so glad for it.

* * *

The holidays are almost drawing to a close now, the leaves falling off the trees, the ice-cream man never coming to your neighbourhood anymore.

And even the pears are turning rotten.

You shudder as you remember what happened this time last year, as you listen to Rachel talk about her show choir competition as though it was the same many months ago. She seems to notice, because she stops and turns to you. You're both sitting on her porch again as you haven't seen her at all these past 2 weeks due to her practising for the competition. You cringe at how similar it was to last year. She looks at you, and suddenly all of your nerves are somehow calmed, as if just her presence alone could soothe you. But you knew that anyway. She looks troubled, and you know its because she's reliving the past, too. So you reach over, and gently take her hand in yours, not for the first time marvelling in how her hand miraculously fits in yours, like they were made for each other. She seems to take comfort in that action as she intertwines her fingers with yours. You both sigh contentedly, and you're not sure whose face is redder-hers or yours. She turns away from you, and says softly

" Quinn…I know you said that things might not be the same between us, and I…I'm not sure if you still mean that, but…" You start to protest without thinking about it. Of course you want things to be the same, you say. You want nothing more than that. Good God, woman, you exclaim, and you see her lips quirk upwards in amusement. It hurts you to see her everyday and not sweep her into your arms, to kiss her into oblivion and to call her yours. It ached to hold her hand, and to not hold her heart, but your're scared that she'll discard it again, as you can't deal with that, you whisper softly, hoping that she didn't hear you. That wasn't going slow at all! Your heart rate increases, you start to sweat as you gently pull your hand away. She looks to you, stunned into silence. You cockily say that you should win an award for being the first person to shut Rachel Berry up. But even that doesn't get a response. You panic. What if doesn't want that?! You shut your eyes tight as you see her lean towards you, eyes shut and lips slightly parted…wait what? Is she going to-

"Hey Rach!" …of course. Pillar Boy, you growl out, relishing in how he flinched at your tone. You open your eyes to see your worst nightmare come true- Finn holding one flower in one hand, and the other extended towards Rachel. Your blood runs cold as your mind blanks. Of course. You clench your eyes shut as the ex-couple face each other off, silently staring. What were you thinking?! Thinking you had a chance with her. They were Finn and Rachel-the golden couple of McKinley High's losers and the Glee Club. They were _Finchel. _Rachel could get every thing she deserved from him- a sustainable job, relationship, money…what could you give her? Pain? Anguish?

_No, another voice answered in your head, I can give her more than that._

Yeah, you scoff, what's that.

_I'll never leave her. Even is she kicks me out, asks me to never talk to her again, I wont do it. I will love her, until the end of time, and Frankenteen can't do that, not like we can._

"I'm sorry…" You clench your eyes shut to prevent the tears from leaking down your face. You knew it. You knew it all along. She still loves him.

You don't deserve her. You don't think he does either, nut someone does, someone will love her, will make her her favourite hot chocolate during the hurricanes; someone allow her to tightly grab hold of their hand as she rides the rollercoasters; someone will perform the monthly drills just in case of a serial killer attack. But who will that someone be?

You flinch slightly as a hand gently brushes your cheek, willing you to open your eyes. You know instinctively that it is Rachel. You open your eyes reluctantly so see her gently caressing your cheek with Finn looking dumfounded, he looks confused. You resist the urge to smile smugly at him because really, you don't have a clue what's going on either. Rachel continues, still holding your cheek gently. "I'm sorry…Finn," You let out a breath you didn't know you've been holding. " But I don't want you. I don't think I've ever wanted you and I'm sorry that it has to end this way but…I like somebody else."

Your heart sky-rockets 90 ft as a grin splits threatens to split your face wide open. Finn splutters, desperately thrusting the one flower to Rachel. "Wha-what do you mean? C'mon Rach, you know we're perfect for each other! C'mon, we'll be late for practise, I've got a little surprise for you later." He finishes at the end, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Forget cold, your blood positively boils and you see red. You spring up from the porch and march into Finn's eyesight. Much to your delight he backs away quickly, only just managing not to trip over his abnormally large feet. You threaten him to leave Rachel alone, putting on your best HBIC voice, cold and menacing. He cowers, before his face hardens and he sneers at you. "Yeah, or what? Haven't you forgotten, Fabray? She's not yours…she never was, was she?" You freeze, the glare completely gone from your face, and Finn seeks that as a sign to continue.

"She was never yours when you were Lucy, but she'll never be yours when you're Quinn! Have your forgotten what you did to her last school year? How you tortured and tormented her with all your cronies. You're a cruel and sick-hearted person, Quinn, I can't understand how anyone would even want you, let alone love you. Did you realise how broken she was? And how I was the only one there to pick up the broken pieces. Because I'm her boyfriend. I mean, c'mon, she's not even gay!"

His words struck a nerve in you as you stagger backwards as if you've been shot. Your worst fears, put together in one sentence. You feel faint as you stare up into Finn's smirking face. God, how you want to punch him. But someone else beats you to it and a tan hand decks Finn across the face, sending him clean to the floor. With a jolt, you realise it Rachel, and you quickly sweep over to her, checking to see if she's okay, but really, you needed to hold her back as she was spewing out words that would've made Santana proud…you really need to stop Santana from giving Rachel those "Modern Day" Lessons. You held Rachel close to your chest as she struggled to break free. Your mind briefly falls to the Queen song (again, damn it) as Finn scrambles up from the floor, the flower long forgotten as he holds a hand to stop the steady flow of blood from his lip. You smirk, your girl packs a mean punch. You mentally slap yourself, she's not your girl.

"How _fucking_ dare you Finn Hudson! How dare you insult Quinn like that! Quinn is 10x the person you will _ever_ be. Sure, she's made mistakes, but we all have! Quinn, or even Lucy was beautiful, kind, gentle, charming and funny without meaning to be, and she is my best friend. And I am-I was lucky to have her And I was wrong, so wrong into thinking that you could replace her, that she could replace the void, but God, how wrong I was!. So no, Finn. I won't go out with you, not now, not ever, so please kindly leave my premises before I have my Fathers call the police for trespassing."

And before Finn left, not without spluttering like an incoherent baboon, and not without flipping the bird at you, which you responded to with a smirk. That only pissed him off more, as he started towards me before you stepped in front of Rachel, firsts clenched, daring him to go further. He faltered under your glare, and Rachel's threat, and so he angrily stormed off, not before kicking a few garbage cans over down the street. You sigh in relief, as Rachel's arms encircle your waist and you instantly relax into her arms, turning to face her. Her eyes are filled with unshed tears and you gently lift your hand and wipe the few stray ones off of her cheek, lingering there to drag your thumb across it, revelling in how soft her cheek is. You feel her nuzzle into your hand, and you smile. She looks up at you and you both smile at each other, and that's when you realise.

_You_ could be that someone.

You _are_ that someone.

So when you ask her to accompany you on the Friday Star Gazing Ritual on the Friday, you know what you're going to do. You're going to ask her to be yours, and you're gonna be hers

**Are you sure you're ready for that?**

And the smile she's giving you and the look in her eyes tell you both of the answers straight away.

The Lucy Smile is back in her eyes again, only there's something else too, something which warms your body like a wildfire and sends goosebumps erupting across you.

"Yes, Quinn, I would love to come with you. Do you want the star-map? Or the constellation chart? We haven't found them all yet…I would quite like to find the Corona Borealis…" You chuckle slightly, and bend down and kiss her forehead, saying softly that she could bring everything she wanted, as long as she brought her beautiful self, you grin foolishly, then you're happy.

The smile she gives you is worth the dying of embarrassment you hear when her Dad's hear that remark.

* * *

It's your weekly stargazing night, but this one you've planned…a little differently. You knock on her front door, and after a few painstaking moments, she answers. She looks as beautiful as ever, but then, when does she not? Her fathers appear, demanding that she'd be back by 12 at the latest. You nod feverishly as Rachel rolls her eyes. With sweaty palms and shaky hands, you hold out your hand and ask Rachel if she would accompany you to watch the stars. Are you from Shakespearian times? You ask yourself as Rachel blushes prettily and her fathers swoon. She smiles bashfully, before holding your hand and stepping away from the door. You briefly glance behind her as her dads watch both of you go, tears threatening to break out on their faces as Hiram rushes to get the phone, no doubt to call your Mom. You smile at the thought as you lead Rachel into your backyard. She gasps softly, letting go of your hand as you turn to look at her reaction.

With the help of your Dad ( and an enthusiastic Brittany and a very reluctant Santana) you've decorated your pear tree with fair lights, adorned with stars making it light up like a Christmas tree on Christmas day. A little picnic basket was placed underneath. She smiles as bright as the stars as you both walk towards the blanket.

It was a perfect night. You talked about everything an nothing as you ate all the Vegan items you triple-checked were in there. Along with some bacon. ( You seriously love bacon.) And when you're both full, you lie back on the picnic basket, your head tucked underneath your arm as you stare at her, a tender smile gracing your face. She still seemed to be in awe. "You…did this…for me?" She stiltedly whispered. You swallow tightly, and nod, unable to say anything else. You feel, more than see her move the picnic items out of the way to shuffle close to you. You clench your eyes shut as the familiar scent of her perfume hits you as she leans over you. "…Why?"

You should know why. You had a whole speech prepared for why. You were redrafting it for hours and hours. You open your eyes again to be met with the most stunning pair of brown eyes staring at you, the Lucy Smile etched in them. You take a deep breath, suddenly drawing courage from the Smile. You no longer need the speech, you realise it's been there, all along.

You did this, you begin, because you feel something, like right here ( you gently grasp her hand and place it over your heart, both of you blushing brightly, your eyes darkened, both of you feeling how wildly your heart is beating) every time you think of her, or when she hugs you or kisses you. But most importantly, when she looks at you, and smiles the Lucy Smile, ( she smiles affectionately. She always like that name I gave it.), you simply feel like it's just you and her, and no body else matters. That you could be the one to make her hot chocolate when the thunderstorms strike; that you could be the one she grabs onto for dear life when the rollercoaster goes down; that you could be the one perform the monthly drills just in case of a serial killer attack ( she pouts and you chuckle, remembering that awful 2 weeks after you both watched Halloween for the first time.)

You could do all those things because…you love her.

She gasps quietly, now shedding silent tears. You sit up slowly, careful not to bump her forehead, and gently brush the tears away. You will love her, you continue, until you're both old and grey and making pear pies together and staring up at the stars until they turn yellow, then blue. Then they'd be big. But not as big as a star as she will be when she's older, you'll be cheering her on from the sidelines, always.

There's no-one you'd rather be with, than her. But if she's not ready, than you'll wait. You'll wait for her as long as it takes, because you're not going anywhere.

She smiles and bump your foreheads together, both of you staying like that for a while. You start to get worried, thinking you've said something to panic her when tears are silently streaming down her face and her eyes are still clenched shut. Your heart stops. Just as you were about to back away, to never love again, she kisses you.

But this time, it's different. But it's perfect. That time it was filled with such passion and love that you felt your heart swoon. She fists her hand in your hair to pull you close and you moan unabashedly, fully deprived of this. She takes this opportunity to stick her tongue in your mouth, and it's honestly the best sensation you've ever head as heat like you've never known courses through your body and simmers down below. Your tongue searches for dominance and she lets you, allowing your kiss- plumped lips to wrap around her tongue and suck it. Her guttural moans are honestly the sexiest things you've ever heard as you grip onto her dress, After a few moments, you both become out of breath, she pulled back, and you whimpered in protest. She smiled again, and kissed you softly, only to pull back again a tiny bit, you could still feel her breath on your face. She caresses you cheek softly, and whispers "…I love you too, until the stars turn yellow, than blue." You grin like a fool, but hey-you deserve it-and you lay back on the blanket, you arm around her waist and her head on your shoulder.

Oh wait.

You quickly ask her to be your girlfriend, remembering that's what you were meant to be doing in the first place. She slowly looks up at you, surprised, and says: " I thought we already were." She smiles, and you flush brilliantly. So, that's a yes, you gather. She laughs, and presses another kiss to your lips. You swear you will never get used to that. She leans over you again, eyes scanning your face as if she can't get enough of it. You realise you're probably doing the same. She presses her forehead to yours, and whispers "Yes, Quinn, I would be honoured to be your girlfriend."

You don't hear the quiet cheers and catcalls coming from Rachel's backyard( you later assumed it was both of your parents) over your own cheering and Rachel laughing. You don't think you can hear anything else other than your love for this girl.

And it'll stay that way for a long time.

* * *

A few years later, well, actually 10 years later to be precise, you were so glad you felt different that day.

"Me too, Mom!" a little boy squeals, hugging you tight as you both sit under a gnarled pear tree in your backyard, watching the clouds drift by. You smile softly, and gaze down at the boy. Your son. He looks up at you, chocolate meeting hazel and you catch your breath every time. He giggles and you laugh, ruffling his sandy-blond hair until he yells out "Mom! Stop!" He should know by know that you won't. You then proceed to tickle him, tears steaming down his face as he laughs a laugh that sound reminiscent to a laugh that captivated you many years ago.

Suddenly, you both hear the front door close and the dog, no longer dozing at your side, jerking up right and rushing to greet however came in. "She's home!" the boy yells excitedly and quickly rushes to meet them.

You smile softly as you hear her voice drift through the house. "Oh my God, Puck! Get down! These are new shoes! Do I have to read you those books ag-Benjamin!" You hear a squeal and you know he's been picked up.

"How's my buddy boy? You been good for Mom, hey, where is she?"

You lean against the tree, waiting. Puck comes bounding out, racing for his toy-and there she is. Standing there, with Ben balanced on her hip as you lock eyes, for what feels like the first time every time. You get up slowly, relishing how perfect your family look in this moment-the early evening sunlight plastered on their faces causing them to glow like angels. You walk over to meet her and you grin. "Hey," she says, softly. Hey, you say back. You stare at each other a little while longer, each letting your eyes communicate more emotion and feeling that words could never convey.

You're not always as sappy as this, you haven't seen her in 2 months as she's been promoting. Yeah, that's right-promoting.

Ben ruins the moment-not for the first time- and shouts " Mom was just telling me about your story Mommy! About the pears and the stars!" While you gently reprimand him and ask him to use his indoor voice, her eyes glisten as she kisses her son's cheek before locking her gaze on you. You smile softly and you step closer to her, lightly bumping your foreheads together the way you did that one starry night. Ben rolled his eyes and muttered something in Spanish-better than a 6-year old should, and you remind yourself to talk to Santana when she next baby-sits. He struggled to break free from her arms so she gently placed him on the ground as he raced to play with Puck.

You arms slid around her waist as she draws her arms around your neck-you foreheads still touching, looking deep into each others souls. You chuckle softly at how lucky you are, not for the first time.

"So, how did the story end? Y'know, with the pears and the stars?" Rachel says with forced innocence, grinning, and you laugh silently. Still smiling, you kiss her, and as you pull back you whisper against her lips the same way it started, with you and her, and the pear tree, until the start turn yellow, than blue.

She smiles, and it's the same Lucy Smile that stole your heart, and once again you're so glad you felt different that summer.

And for all the pears and stars in the world.

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END

* * *

So….what do you think?

Sorry if you guys though it was an update on **Is Popularity Everything**, I've had a bit of a block but I'll get back to that as soon as!

All mistakes are mine.


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